SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY

After freshman year I begged my parents to let me go visit my best friend in Florida for a week and half during the summer.  I have never been to Florida let alone Tampa.  Upon landing I began sweating profusely and decided I should hydrate with some vodka.  After unpacking and getting settled in my friend decided she would show me the town/her friend’s house, who was having a party.  When we walked in I was suddenly overtaken with the drunken notion that I too must talk in a Southern accent the entire evening.  So I embarked on this endeavor and would not stop talking in an accent for the entire night.  My friend just looked back at me and said, “Honestly that is the worst impression of a Southern accent I have ever heard and you should probably stop because no one will believe you.”  Well she was wrong; all her friends loved my accent and DJing skills. 

Obviously as the night progressed we all got hungrier and hungrier.  So, we decided on the lovely Stake’N’Shake down the street to delight our taste buds.  After ordering my burger and having one bite I threw up my arms and decided I was over this establishment and went outside to make a phone call.  As I was lying on my back outside the restaurant on the phone with my best friend from home I began to tell her all about my evening (still in my thick Southern accent) and then began to profusely lie about everything.  I told her I was at a truck stop in Georgia and that I was slowly making the journey back home to Washington because my parents had been robbed of all their money.  Little did I know that inside some man had just walked in proclaiming, “Does that girl in the flower dress belong to anyone?”  On this note my friend whom I was visiting just simply told him “YUPP!” and continued to eat her burger.

Long story short, I woke up to 13 missed calls, one from my boyfriend and 12 from my parents (who left me 11 voicemails…really?) and about 35 texts.  15 texts from me telling myself things that I appeal thought were “funny” and the rest from my parents freaking out about what state I am in and why I felt it necessary to hitch hike on trucks all the way home.  Needless to say they were relieved to find out that I was really still in Tampa and would be arriving home on a plane in about a week.  It is safe to say my first night had been a success and definitely set the bar for the rest of the trip.

Until next time,

Boozey Babe